Do you know who you are? Do you know why you are here and what God created you to do? I'm not entirely sure I do, so I've determined that I'm going to figure it out. Here's where I started:
Psalm 139
O Lord, you have searched me thoroughly and have known me,
I’m an open book to you;
(God knows me - thoroughly, better than I know myself - there is nothing about me or in me, that He doesn't know)
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
(He is Always watching over me and watching out for me)
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
(He knows my past, present, and future and is already there)
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going
(the comfort of his presence always around me)
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in!
(How can His love for me be understood?)
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
(Even if I tried, even if I run, even if I hide, I cannot escape His love for me)
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are all the same to you.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
(Being in health care we only touched on the miraculous way our bodies were created, have the ability to heal themselves and function on a regular basis, only a master craftsman could have designed such awesomeness)
My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret and intricately and curiously wrought as if embroidered with various colors in the depths of the earth a region of darkness and mystery.
("being formed in secret", it was a secret, the shame of my conception, the fear regarding my life, the weight I was on the future, the desperation and dispair); (various colors, curiously wrought - it seems He took pleasure in the creative process of my being, that it somehow brought the creator joy to see his creation)
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
(He saw the expanse of my days - past present and future and is there in it all - He is I AM)
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.
(Soverignty in my life - the thought that His protection, love and guidance, have always been a part of my life, even when I was unaware of them)
How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I couldn’t even begin to count them—
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
(God obsessively thinks about me - I am ALWAYS on His mind, the object of His affection, the center of His universe so to speak)
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
(sustain my life and let it glorify and tell the world about you)
Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my anxious thoughts!
(Look in all the dark, ugly dust filled corners of my heart and change me, clean me, transform me - make me like you - take over those areas until they are exactly the way you want them to be)
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Why do the messages of failure, of defeat, of fear, of dissappointment and regret play so loudly in my head on a regular basis. Why does comparison consistently steal my joy and why is perfection the standard to which I hold myself?
I find myself asking, "Who am I Lord? Who am I really? Who is it you created me to be?" I need You to show me, change me, recreate me. Heal me. Help me to be all that you created me to be. Help me to see what it is that you are so in love with.
Help me to be me - help me to see what it is that is unique about me - what are my gifts and talents, what is it that you really created me for. Allow me to see the beauty you see when you look at me. Clear away all that fogs my vision and help me to see clearly what you see when you see me.
What do you hear when you ask God who He created you to be?
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