Sunday, August 5, 2012

Ikea and Marriage!

Whenever we travel by car I try to make a quick stop into IKEA since the closest one is 4 hours away from us.  The thing I really like about IKEA is that the products are current and stylish and are an affordable price so that if in a year or two you want to change your decor, you can!

Our master bedroom always seems to end up being the last room to get decorated and ends up being a dumping ground for everything that doesn't have a spot.  I want that to change.

In my post a few days ago about our short overnight getaway, I spoke about how important it is to have that time alone with your family.  Mark 6:30-32 in the message bible says:  The apostles then rendezvoused with Jesus and reported on all that they had done and taught.  Jesus said, "Come off by yourselves; let's take a break and get a little rest." ...So they got into the boat and went off to a remote place by themselves.
The same is true for couples.  Andy and I have tried to get away as a couple at least every year and a half but its been quite a bit longer than that since the last time we had time alone for more than an evening.  We both work very crazy schedules with shift work and very often find ourselves going days without even having a 1 hour conversation.  It is so easy to get disconnected in the world we live in.  We go about our days in the rat race of life doing what needs to get done but very often neglecting that which is most important.  In our heart to hearts Andy and I often talk about trying to be more intentional with the way we live our lives and one of the ways of doing that is to MAKE time to be together and connect as a couple.  I thought you might enjoy hearing a man's perspective on this so here are some of Andy's thoughts regarding time away as a couple:

Marriage, it is the single most important relationship you will have in your life aside from your relationship with God.  It takes, patience, kindness, and willingness to change.  Life seems to bring a plethora of burdens, temptations and distractions that have the potential to drive a wedge between a husband and wife. It is in this that it becomes so important to BE INTENTIONAL

"If time together is not a priority, by the time the kids are out of the house, your careers are in cruise control and there is a sense of slow down, you will realize that you are living with a stranger.  Time to connect with each other is one of the cornerstones of a successful marriage.  Not only does it allow a break from all the normal rat race of life, but it also allows you to get back to the way it was before all the other distractions were introduced.  The coffee and dessert or suppers are nice but going away together for even a few days is essential.  How about sending the kids to the grandparents house or some close friends or family and doing a five day cruise?  I know… A five day cruise, how dare I suggest something so preposterous?  Without the kids?  Unheard of. 
When my wife and I are away together, it gives us an opportunity to get back to the us before all the “stuff” began.  We laugh louder, we smile harder and have time to enjoy each other.  I get to remember how beautiful my wife is and we get to enjoy ALL the things that brought us together in the first place. 
Time away allows you to build your relationship and invest into each other.  All of the “stuff” will be there when you get back.  Your life together is something that has to be built, it doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes commitment.  Be intentional, even if it’s going out for supper at a local restaurant for a couple hours, or coffee and dessert at your favorite place.  Anything worth building needs a good foundation and any foundation needs to be maintained.  Sometimes it may be difficult to be intentional but it needs to be a priority in any marriage."

I wanted to give you something to think about regarding investing in your marriage.  Our biggest hinderance in "going away" together is money.  After ten years of marriage, the conclusion we have come to is that while its easy to say, "we can't afford it.", the truth is that we can't afford NOT to do it!
However, having said all of that, we need to find ways to connect on a more regular basis as well.  As much as we'd love to have an amazing, romantic rendevous every month or so, the truth is that we can't.  Where does that leave us?  Well, that's where Ikea comes in - LOL!  
While our bedroom is the room most neglected, it is also possibly the most important place to create a sanctuary, a romantic retreat that we both should feel completely comfortable in.  I have the kind of husband that would not care if I decorated the entire bedroom with pink flowers and while I LOVE flowers, I try to be careful that our bedroom feels like a comfortable retreat for him as well.  
So, that's my mission right now.  We have this dresser from Ikea:
Andy and I have been sharing it and he will openly tell you that he's SICK of sharing - LOL!  So, on this last trip to Ikea we bought this one to match:
We have this duvet cover:

I know right now the trend is not toward having a bunch of matching pieces but I have to confess that I am still a matchy matchy
I'll post pics as soon as I get things decorated.  We also want to paint but I'm going back and forth about colors so I need your help!  Here are my choices:
Old stone and Stardust:

to accomplish this kind of look:

OR Yarmouth Blue and Kendall Charcoal:

to accomplish this kind of look:

I think they are both really fabulous and I know that I love the blue and charcoal because I've painted these colors in other projects.  I've also used the old stone in other projects as well and I know I really love it.  UGH - such a tough choice!  What do you think?
While you're thinking about it - here are a couple pics I took at Ikea of things that I loved:
I'd love this EKTORP couch and love seat in my living room:
here is my inspiration:

I'd LOVE your feedback and I can't wait to hear from you all regarding what color you think I should paint!  I'd also love to hear about what you do to stay connected with your spouse and if you've created a romantic retreat!
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  1. Kyla Janzen via Facebook: Both colors and room designs are nice! What does Andy think? I would have to say I like the picture number one with the stardust color. It's very warm and romantic looking

  2. Kyla Janzen via Facebook: Jonah and I like to be spontaneous and just all sudden decide to go away. Just because! Last year we did a quite trip to Fernie, bc the August long weekend and on October we went down to south Dakota and explored the mines, caves, sturgis, rapid City and mount Rushmore that was awesome fun! This year we are going to possibly go to Yellowstone for our anniversary September long... See some redwood trees and hot springs! I love being spontaneous and adventure with my amazing husband. Oh and can't forget our amazing trip to Thailand. These trips are wonderful time to just be together and bond as a couple. Our journey has just begun!


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